I find people’s reactions on Facebook to the birth of a baby to be fascinating.
With my friends who, let’s face it, are all of a certain age, and generally trying to be pregnant or are happy if it happens, there’s a lot of “I’m so happy for you!” or “It’s so wonderful!” and “Congratulations!” and “So beautiful!”
But apparently, with younger acquaintances who knocked up their girlfriends, it’s a lot of “We’re so proud of you!”
Proud? Really? Of what? Proud that they fulfilled the bare minimum of biological imperative? Proud that they actually acknowledged ownership of said pregnancy/child? Proud that they took responsibility for their lack of contraception? Proud that they have a high sperm count? Proud that they named their child after a hockey player?
It’s nice to know that their knocking up their “on-again/off-again” girlfriend merits exactly the same praise from their friends and family as my ACTUALLY EARNING A FUCKING PH.D. DID.
Even if we accept this as status quo, those people would be a whole lot less proud if they knew what I know.
I know that “I kind of have a girlfriend” means “She lives with me and is 5 months pregnant.”
I know that he spends a lot more time checking out other girls than you ever imagined.
And I know that you seem quite cute, and sweet, and probably will only find out too late that he can’t be trusted. It’s not your fault you’re so young. Godspeed, sweet young thing. May you never grow to be as jaded as I am.
Peace out.
