The Superbowl Shuffle

You're not a true football fan until you've made a beer run on foot when the wind chill is about -30. For those of you back home who think in Fahrenheit, not Celsius, you should know that -30 is about where the two scales coincide. In other words, REALLY FUCKIN' COLD. I expect to regain sensation in my legs in just a few short months. Now, this should help you understand why I will be watching the game by myself at home this evening. I had discussed getting together with a friend of mine, and he had hinted that he might have a wee party at his place or at least go out somewhere to watch it on a big screen. Every time I saw him last week, he said, "what are we doing for the Super Bowl?" To which I replied, "you tell me...it's your shindig." Needless to say, plans were never made, so I went back to my original plan of making chili and having plenty of beer on hand to take my mind off of the fact that the Canadian feed doesn't get any of the good commercials. Now, this morning, I get an IM from said friend, asking if I want to come over - he's putting together a last-minute gathering. I tell him I'm making chili. He says, "want to bring it over?" Now, as much as I enjoy a last-minute invitation to feed you and a bunch of your friends I don't even know, and as much as I look forward to hauling POTS OF HOT CHILI on the bus and subway, I think I'll pass. My official excuse was an abundance of work that needed to be done around the house and the need to plan ahead if I'm going to make an hour-long trip downtown on the weekend - both things that are, in fact, true. However, the real reason I wasn't tempted to go is that CANADIANS DON'T GET FOOTBALL. They were talking about PLAYING POKER DURING THE GAME. Oh, how I wish I was making that up. How would you like it if I invited you to my house to watch hockey and practiced my clogging through the whole damned thing???? You don't NEED to pass the time during a football game - let alone the Super Bowl. This is why coolers were invented - to reduce screen time lost in fetching another beer. Personally, I will be stashing my supply in my ass-cold window - on a day like today, it ensures an ice-cold beer without actually having to turn my back on the tv. This is also why chili is the ultimate football food - the pot can be abandoned on the stove and the food inside only. gets. better. I mean, yeah, any sporting event is better watched with other people, but not if those people don't get HOW VITAL THE EVENT IS TO OUR LIVELIHOOD...OUR NATIONAL SECURITY...NAY, LIFE ITSELF!!! Ahem. I don't normally get this worked up over the Super Bowl, but this year is different...this year is special. I am usually hard-pressed to pick a team to root for - my top teams never make it these days (we won't even mention how long it's been since my beloved Redskins made it to the big game) and while I can usually get behind an underdog or go with NFC loyalty, I can't get all that engaged in the outcome. However, this year, it's a matchup of my #2 and #3 teams - technically, I can be happy whichever way the game goes. I mean, I was raised in an Illinois household that just happened to be located in northern Virginia, but I lived in Indiana for 7 years, during the rise of Peyton Manning and the dawn of the era that shall forever be known as the Definite Lack of Suck Age for the Colts. So I not only have someone to root for, but I am rooting for that holy grail of football: the Really Good Game. And that, my friends, is why I cannot stomach the idea of watching it with a bunch of CANADIANS PLAYING POKER. Although that would make an AWESOME painting to hang in my rumpus room someday. Go Bears!