Can't talk now. Out Potting. Back later.

"Oh...you're one of THOSE..."

A response I received more than once when, as last weekend was approaching, people asked what my Saturday plans were, and my answer was, "I'll be curled up somewhere with my Harry Potter book all day."

Now, to clarify, I was not eschewing the company of actual human beings in favor of a fictitious boy wizard - I went out Saturday night to celebrate a friend's birthday, and it would be far more accurate to characterize my day as eschewing my housecleaning. But yes, I would rather spend the afternoon in the park with my new book than at the baseball game with you and your girlfriend. I'll meet you at the bar when you meet up with the birthday boy, thank you very much. But just as one gets sick of hearing everyone and their mother talk about Harry Potter if one is not, personally, a fan, those of us who are get awfully tired of being greeted with eye-rolls and choruses of, "I hate Harry Potter!" every time we express excitement about it.

That's not cool, regardless of the subject matter. You don't have to love or even like everything I enjoy, but please have enough respect for me to not put me down just because I'm different from you. Because most of the time, that's exactly what you're doing - any time someone is talking about something they love to do, or an experience that they really enjoyed, and your response is simply, "I hate that," well...that's dismissive, and it's mean. I'm not talking about, say, debating whether or not Citizen Kane really is all it's cracked up to be...opinions are, of course, subjective, everyone is entitled to theirs, and a good dialogue about them is always fun. But this is a case of someone asking me what my plans are, and me telling them about plans I've been looking forward to for a long time, and them saying essentially, "oh...well, that's stupid."

Some people are actually proactively malicious - after I read Book 6, I saw a clip on YouTube of some assmunches who had gotten wind of the Big Spoiler for that book and drove by a midnight release party, shouting it out the window at the crowd (mostly kids) waiting to buy their books. Labmate has not gotten her book yet - her boyfriend looked up all of the leaked spoilers online just to taunt her, and actually told her one of the early ones. Every day this week, I've been just a wee bit paranoid that some asshat on the street is going to see my book and deliberately spoil it for me. I don't even like to see the titles of chapters I haven't read, because I like to just enjoy the ride the author is taking me on without knowing where I'm going. Why do you so want to spoil my fun?

I am a thoroughly unabashed Potterphile. I love to read, but it's rare that I get so thoroughly absorbed in a book that I can completely forget who and where I am, and hey, my ass is numb... how long have I been sitting in this beach chair anyway?!? When Book 5 came out, I took it with me to the Indiana Dunes because I was a big ball of stress - at the end of the day, I drove home feeling like I'd just had a week's vacation. Number of non-Potter books that have actually made me cry: 2. Number of Potter books that have actually made me cry: 4. Is the writing perfect? No, not at all. But is it engaging, evocative, creative, and layered storytelling? Youbetcha. In books and in movies, I always know what qualifies as a true favorite when I get to the end of it and immediately want to go back to the beginning and do it all over. Watching Saving Private Ryan always leaves me completely gutted, yet I always have to resist the temptation to go through the whole damned thing over again right away. Every single Potter book has left me feeling that way - I'm actually kind of dreading how strong that urge will be when I finish the final one.

I understand that not everyone's wild about Harry. Some people have legitimate reasons for not liking him - some are turned off by having to learn a whole new vocabulary to read a book... others are bothered by the way fantasy authors (and yes, this one in particular) can just whip up whatever MacGuffin they need to get the hero out of peril because let's face it, they're not bound by anything remotely resembling realism...others work in bookstores and have to orchestrate the logistical nightmare that surrounds the release of a new Potter book. However, most of the naysayers are not these people. Most of them are people who have never even TRIED reading one of the books. They say that they hate them and they will never read them because they're a) fantasy, b) "kids' books", or c) popular.

a) Um, get over it. You don't have to be into fantasy to enjoy a good imagination and a wry sense of humor.

b) Just because something is appealing to kids does not mean it can't be enjoyed by adults. See a). Watch any of the Pixar movies if you don't believe me.

c) Don't get me started on people who decide to hate something JUST because everybody else likes it.

These are the sorts of people who make blanket statements like, "I abhor all pop culture."

I understand wanting to stand out from the crowd, but look, things become part of the "popular culture" for a reason: because they have a broad appeal - in other words: they're fun. So basically, you're saying you don't like fun. Fine. Gimme a call when you stop taking yourself so fucking seriously. Then we can get drunk, rent "Ninja Cheerleaders," and giggle about how Trishelle from the Real World: Vegas is wearing the same kind of blank, generic cheerleading uniform that I thought was only ever used in porn.

But I digress.

I do feel bad for these people - they will never know the joy that comes in hearing the doorbell the day your new Potter is being delivered. Hearing the footsteps over your head as someone answers the door. Listening as those footsteps cross the living room...then the kitchen...and finally descend the stairs to your door before you hear the knock. That's like hearing Santa's footsteps. Except nobody's ever going to try to tell me the mailman doesn't exist, and I know I'm getting exactly what I asked for.

And dammit, it's fun to be part of the brouhaha. All week, I've been hearing people say, "oo, she's got the new book..." as I walk by. On the beach on Sunday, I watched kids and adults wandering by with the same red and black spine I was holding, oblivious to anything not happening on the page in front of their nose. The other day, on my way to work, I had to laugh as I looked down at the girl sitting next to me on the subway and realized we were both reading the same book, and were at about the same point...and then I got off of the train and was right behind ANOTHER girl reading the same book. I ALWAYS enjoy seeing somebody carrying a book I love - I want to ask what part they're on, and whether they're enjoying it - but rarely are you reading it at the exact same time. You see someone reading it, and if you're not carrying yours, you want to say, "hey, I'm reading it too! Where are you???" You feel this weird kinship with half the subway train because, albeit in a weird way, you're all going through a pretty meaningful experience together. They may be fictitious characters, but we're all invested in them and desperate to know they're going to be okay, or if not, at least at peace. It's common ground in a world where we already have more than enough to disagree over.

On Sunday, on my way home from the beach, I got on the subway and walked past a guy. This was clearly a man with mild mental retardation, as well as some physical disabilities.

He lit up when he saw my book.

"You're reading Harry Potter! I've got it too!" (very proudly, with the knowledge that it's not humanly possible to have read more than he has) "I'm on Chapter 4! What chapter are you on?"

"I'm on Chapter 10."

"Chapter 10??? Wow! You must not have put it down all night!!!"

I just smiled at him and said, "I've been reading all day."

There aren't a great deal of things that a man with mental retardation and a Ph.D. chemist are going to have in common. But I think it's pretty cool that Harry Potter can be one of them.