I don't recall your name, but your fez is familiar?

I have a new Random Stalker (I Mean, Reader) (tm)!

Everyone, meet Sarah. Sarah, everyone.

Sarah was recently brave enough to come forward in the comments and out herself. I commend her for that. This officially brings my readership up to a grand total of....(drum roll)...8 or 9? On a good day? If I'm being generous?

Welcome! Feel free to link me, tell your friends...you are one of my readers, which officially makes you one of the most charming and ridiculously good-looking people to ever walk this planet. I'm sure we'll be best friends!

No, seriously. The only people who read this thing are people I consider to be among my all-time best friends...or complete strangers. You are no longer one of the latter, ergo, you must be among the former. Quid pro quo. Cogito ergo sum. In vino veritas. Summa cum laude. Carpe diem and shit.

Let me make some introductions (in approximate order of frequency of comments, measured through a highly Unscientific Method also known as My Vague Memory):
Ian - most reliable commenter and former RS(IM,R)(tm). Now one of my best friends in Toronto. Sounds pretty impressive until you consider the fact that I don't really have all that many friends in Toronto.
Em - most sporadically prolific commenter. Primarily because she only comments when drunk and chatty while I am not online for her to chat with. Best friend from college and one of the other Muses. Definitively has more dirt on me than anyone else I ever have or ever will know.
#1 - best friend from my grad school years in Indiana. So-called because her name is also Beth and we needed a way to differentiate. I had to be #2 because my initials are B.M. (true story). Loves it when you add the words "and shit" to the end of any phrase, preferably when there is no reason at all to do so.
Dave - #1 'Mo from my college days. Responsible for my well-honed gaydar. Unfortunate fondness for 80's pop. Aspiring amateur drag queen.
MadMup - ex-boyfriend from my Indiana days. Unfortunate fondness for amateur drag queens. (KIDDING! He's a Baptist. He doesn't believe in drag queens, amateur or otherwise.) Knows better than anyone that Evil is fluffy, adorable, and answers to the name of Nutmeg.
Will - ex-boyfriend from my college days. Has seen me eat souvlaki in what is apparently a sexually suggestive manner. Used to be a computer geek. Still is, but now also runs marathons. WTF???
Matt - #1 'Mo from my Indiana days. First of my friends to discover that, while most people only THINK they're more charming and witty when they drink...in my case, it's actually true. Also singlehandedly responsible for my alcoholism. Has approximately the same belting range as me, which makes it difficult to decide who gets to sing Pink's part of Lady Marmalade.

There are probably one or two other people that actually know me that read this thing, but they never comment so I have forgotten I gave them the address. Looking over this list, I am left with only one conclusion: Clearly, my time in Toronto will not be up until I have a best girlfriend, a #1 'Mo, and an ex-boyfriend to associate with this phase in my life. Apparently, I will not be going anywhere anytime soon. Apparently.

My loves, I'm sure we'll all get along swimmingly. If there's anyone else lurking out there that would like to make their presence known, now is as good a time as any. Make the comments section your own virtual cocktail party and mingle...Mommy has work to do in the kitchen.