Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing each other again?

Do you ever get the feeling that people think they know you, but they really have no idea who you are? I think it's part of the overall Human Experience - if everybody knows exactly who you are when they meet you, then what's the point of all of the interaction, conversation, and assorted fun stuff that comes later? But in my case, it's really been a long-term state of being. There are a precious few people in this world that truly Know me...and I'm starting to get sick of those who think they are part of that group but couldn't be more wrong. Here's a clue - if you've never pissed me off, you don't know me. Because I don't adore people unconditionally - you can screw up, and I will love you, but I will let you know. Now, I'm also passive-agressive as hell - I won't necessarily say that you've screwed up, but you'll know...or at least I like to think that you will. This is one of those things I am still working on in myself as far as how to properly and maturely deal with conflict, but I know that I love someone truly when they can piss me off and I still love them. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, that's the difference between "love" and "like." If I just like you, there's a good chance that if you piss me off, I'm done. It's not worth getting over. But if I love you, you can pretty much piss me off with impunity - I'll let you get away with murder as long as we patch things up after every instance. All I ask of you is the same treatment in return, and we'll be fine. I'm sure I can be infuriating - I've just never had anyone around me that managed to figure out how to call me on it without being a bully about it.

This brings me to a particular observation: I've been told that I am "probably intimdating" when I meet new people. This was an opposite-sex-specific reference, but I tend to think it applies both to relationships and friendships - I've been told for at least a decade by various people I adore that they were intimidated by me when they first met me. This makes no sense to me - I spent most of my life feeling like a painfully shy outcast. When I went to college, I was lucky enough to find a niche, where I felt comfortable and safe. But, every time new people try to join that niche, I'm naturally paranoid that they're going to upset the delicate balance of happy. It doesn't mean that I don't want to make new friends, but I've been screwed over enough times to know that friendship isn't easy - it takes time to trust someone and let them be a real part of your life. I'm not the kind of person who walks into a room full of people and has 5 new best friends - that's just not how I operate. But when I ask what might make me intimidating, the answer was something along the lines of, "well...I don't know...you're all Dr. Beth and stuff..." Okay, look. It's not like my opening line is "Hi, my name is Beth, but you can call me Dr. Miller." I know that when men are listing the qualities they find hot in a woman, a Ph.D. is not high on the list. The fact of the matter is, if people find me scary when they meet me, I guarantee it's because they're scared of the facade I put up to mask my insecurity and shyness. Hands down - no question. Because it's easier to appear aloof than to be judged for who we really are. We all do it to varying degrees - anyone who says differently is selling something. But whatever your impression of me the first time you meet me, I would stake big money big money no whammies STOP that it was a pale shadow of the real me. For better or worse, you. do. not. know. me. So please, stop acting like you do. Believe me, I'll let you know when you're getting close.