Heart is where the Home is...

"Outside, autumn is over, and yet it's not quite winter. Indiana farmlands speed past in black and white. Beautiful. Until you remember that the world is supposed to be in color."
-ZZ Packer

I've been feeling homesick lately, but I think it's really much more a matter of being wintersick. I mean, I'm sitting here at my desk at work, looking out my window at the falling snow, and while Virginia got about 6" of snow over the weekend, it's mostly sunny and well above freezing there today. So even when it's snowing, it's still perfectly reasonable to go out, snap some pictures (I was out for all of maybe 10 minutes yesterday to take this shot, and my fingertips were numb by the time I got a single shot), play in the snow, whatever. I miss that. The overall dreariness of winter is starting to weigh on me - I'm tired of the world being in black and white, sick of being cooped up and not able to go out and play. Now I know how the dogs must feel when they're left in their crate all day while the family is out and about. But a couple of things have come my way over the weekend that have made me think about home more than usual. Apparently, my home state became the first to openly apologize for the institution of slavery on Saturday. I never know what to say about things like that - does such an apology really make anyone feel any better? Does it right the wrongs committed by our forefathers? And whose job is it to accept or reject said apology? I am, quite frankly, surprised that it took this long for someone to officially apologize, but I guess I'm glad it was my state that did it. Especially since it wasn't that long ago that we were officially observing Lee-Jackson-King Day every January - racial sensitivity is learned in baby steps, my friends. It's an odd little landmark, but it does make me miss the goofy split personality of the state. Virginia is deeply torn between the yuppie suburbia of the D.C. area, the down-home country simplicity of the small towns and farms, the urban decay of the larger cities, and the deep Southern gentility that tends to be associated with the capital of the Confederacy. It can be as infuriating as it is inspiring, but I have to say that I miss that environment and am a true product of it - being the child of Midwesterners, raised in the D.C. area but still south of the Mason-Dixon line, I enjoy being able to play a number of different roles in a particular situation - southern belle or damn yankee, city mouse or country mouse, culture vulture or crunchy granola, according to whichever role best suits my mood on that day. I like to think it keeps people guessing, when I'm sure it's more accurate to say that it convinces them I'm a lunatic. But my friends from back home get it.

But what really made me homesick was when I was goofing around on Flickr and found this. How does something like that NOT make you homesick? It made me realize that it's been many moons since I've seen VA during the fall season, and that is by far the best time to do all of the camping, hiking, wine tasting, sightseeing, and picture-taking that I so love to do. And so the ZZ Packer quote comes to mind - even in winter, the world SHOULD be in color, dagnabbit! Unless of course you're after a black and white shot, but I prefer those when they're by design, not by default. :) I may never move back to VA, but I don't think it will ever stop being Home. So I'm left in Toronto, watching the snow fall, and wondering how long it will be before the spring flowers will give me a reason to stop wishing I was there. Regardless, I guarantee I won't be whining about being far from home come August....