Sunday, January 28, 2007
The G-Bomb
Men of the world, I have a bone to pick with you. If you meet a woman, and you're chatting with her, enjoying her company, enjoying a little mild, harmless flirtation...just how long do you wait before you drop the G-bomb? It's easy to do...you're talking about your daily life, a movie you've seen, a tv show you like to watch...there are plenty of natural opportunities to drop an offhand mention of "my girlfriend..." Yet for some reason, you avoid it at all costs. Now, I get that it's fun to talk to someone, flirt with them, and it's more fun if the person whose conversation you're enjoying thinks you're single. Or maybe you feel it's not this new person's business what your relationship status is. Now, I'm not saying that every conversation should begin with "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!!" Easy dude...I just offered to push an elevator button for you. But on behalf of the single girls in the world, I think it's safe to say that we appreciate the subtle drop. We won't stop talking to you, or flirting with you (within reasonable limits), but while it sucks finding out this guy you're vibing with is already taken, it sucks more wondering why the guy you were vibing with all night has no interest in getting your number. Dating at a certain age is exhausting and frustrating enough already, without having to waste your energy feeling out someone who is already spoken for. If the best I can hope for out of you is a new friendship, I'd like to know that up front. I'm always glad to make a new friend, but when you're meeting someone new and trying to figure out how to connect with them, there's no point in keeping your options open if you don't actually have any. Women are constantly accused of playing games, but you guys play them too. I just want to know what I'm up against - I don't want to mess with your head, and I don't appreciate you messing with mine.
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4 comments:
For the record, not all guys are like the one you describe.
I think if a guy/girl decides to go out with someone for coffee,dinner... and it's not a spur of the moment decision they should be open about it right away.
If it is a spur of the moment decision, I give them 24 hours. Alright maybe 36 hours but no more. I've been burned one too many times, and I'm tired of it like you.
I mean, if we're talking about chatting for a bit at a party, I don't think it's necessary. But if you've been chatting all evening, and if, in the course of that chat, HE makes note of MY relationship status (or lack thereof - he pointed out the way my claddagh ring is oriented), why not go ahead and mention the girlfriend at some point? Most guys I've posed this question to say they wouldn't mention her either - if I were their girlfriends, I'd be pretty torked off. :)
I have nothing to say, that's rare. It amazes me that someone sends out the signals(questions your personal status) and continues to leave out his. If most guys that you asked about this said they wouldn't mention a GF either, that's not right. Have you asked them why?
It seems to be a case of "if I'm not trying to hit on her, I'm just making conversation, then it's none of her business whether or not I have a girlfriend." But to be fair, this is merely anecdotal evidence...I am reserving my final judgement until I have a broader sample. :) If there are other guys reading this, I'd love to hear their take on the matter....
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