Finally got a piece of the pie.

With apologies to Em and granny panties and slurpees everywhere (topics that will be addressed soon)…I have an announcement.

 

Ahem.

 

The aforementioned verboten topic of “Jobs” is once again open for discussion.

Since we last left Wahooty, she has, quite frankly, been through a lot.  Made friends, lost friends, remade lost friends, made money, lost money, made dinner.  But to make a long story short, she has applied for, interviewed for, and received an offer for…<drumroll>… an Actual Paying Job. 

 

I know.  About fuckin’ time.

 

This APJ was posted around the time I last posted…here’s how things went from there:

 

Aug. 1 – job posting closes

Aug. 4 - phone interview

Aug. 10 - on-site interview

Aug. 14 – hired. 

 

Oh, and on August 11, I became Aunt Wahooty.  Please, adore the sacred child:

He is precious.  And already smarter and better than your niece, nephew, hedgehog, whatever the case may be.  (On an unrelated note, I am still trying to figure out if my brother and sister-in-law actually deliberately placed the crib in the front window because it has FABULOUS lighting for flash-free pictures.)  He will henceforth be addressed as Roo ‘round these parts.

 

So anyway, the timeline continues:

Aug. 16 – begin househunting and dialogue with potential landlady

Aug. 16 (continued) – begin to think potential landlady is potentially certifiable landlady

Aug. 17 – resume househunting

Aug. 18 – fly to hometown to (theoretically) pick up Mom and Dad’s old car but (in reality) visit Roo.  Take many, many pictures, most of which are flash-free.  At least they are when I remember to turn the flash off when the little bugger starts to look alive.  Want to hug him and squeeze him and call him George, but…

Aug. 18 (continued) – have to drive out to Mom and Dad’s to get theoretical reason for visiting.

Aug. 19 – drive back to Toronto.  Leave @ 5:30am.  Sweaty arrival @ 5pm…swanky dinner with friends @ 6:30.  Brutal.

Aug. 20-22.  No idea.  Seriously…total blur of car-based errands and teary goodbyes.

Aug. 23 – drive to undisclosed location of new job.  Will only reveal that I am in small town in Michigan where beef jerky can be purchased in parking lots in front of mattress stores.  And Leinenkugel’s Red is readily available.

Aug. 24 – report to work.  Open bank account.  View potential (non-certifiable) apartment.  Purchase first BlackBerry (Torch.  You want one, you just don’t know it yet.) as it will be major guilty indulgence of new job.  Commence getting my head around the fact that I have to stand in front of actual students on Monday.  Go to BW-3 because it is across the street and it is Wing Night.

Aug. 25 – attend first faculty meeting.  Deal with minor BlackBerry-related crisis.  Confirm that will not be homeless as of about one week from now.  Congratulate self at happy hour at hotel Bennigan’s.

 

WhatEVER, bitches.  It’s $2 domestic drafts.

 

So…yeah.  I now live in a place that doesn’t have a mall, but does have a farmer’s market where the farmers actually wear overalls in a non-ironic fashion.  “Ethnic food” is not even a vague category of cuisine, let alone a culturally insensitive generalization.  There aren’t liquor or wine stores, so much as Walgreen’s and places with signs proclaiming them to be “Party Stores.”  But the people are insanely nice, Evan Williams is $11.99/bottle, and I am gainfully employed.  I have good benefits, and my apartment will be about twice the size of the basement cave I had in Toronto for the same rent.  AND I have a dishwasher.  AND a balcony for my grill.  AND I can even have a puppy if I want.

And I won’t have to leave the apartment to get to my bathroom.

 

I started this blog when I moved to Toronto…to document an entirely new phase in my life.  I’m starting yet another, so it would seem it’s time to truly reboot The Alchemist.  I’ll start with granny panties and Slurpees as promised, but I’m thinking I’ll have a lot of free time on my hands now, so I’ll try to channel all of my small-town angst constructively here.  I’m going to be crazy busy for the next few weeks while I get settled…but football season is imminent and it’s going to be a loooooooooong winter.

 

Bear with me folks.  But in the meantime, I am still taking requests if anyone other than Em is still reading.