Music Therapy.

Sometimes it’s frightening how well my iPod knows me. 

Earlier this week, I was Angry.  For reasons I won’t go into now, because it no longer seems important.  But I drafted my anger.  I reworded it.  I saved it, and slept on it for more than one night.

I received a pre-emptive apology.  Which I accepted.

I deleted the draft the next day, but here’s the problem with the pre-emptive apology: at that point, you can’t be Angry without being an Asshole.  Or at least, you can’t express the Anger.

 

So where does it go?

 

It doesn’t just evaporate, no matter how much I would like it to.

In my case, I usually just kind of bury it and wait for it to go away.  Emotional compost, if you will.  Which generally works…but it takes a while.

In the meantime, I had an 11-hour drive with only NPR and a loaded iPod to keep me company.

 

Music is a powerful thing.  Often, it would take me hours to come up with the words that are expressed in a single song.  Those are usually the times that I come here and post nothing more than a YouTube video.  I’m not just promoting my favorite singers…there’s a reason I posted that particular song.  Some people get it, others don’t, but it’s out there.

And as I drove the long road home with my iPod on shuffle, a song came on that ran through my veins like ice.

AND IT FELT SO.  FUCKING. GOOD.

So I’m posting it here.  Let me be frank – I am not posting it to be passive-aggressive, or because I need sympathy.  I am posting it because, until I put the anger somewhere, it will not leave me.  Life is too short to let it fester and putrify – I need to shoot this shit into space so it can dissipate into the ether.

And yes, I realize it’s completely trite that it’s Alanis, but whatever works.  Play it on surround sound if you want to know what it sounds like in my head.