A Year in the Life...

A year ago...

We were in a casting crisis for Mary Poppins.  We held auditions the day final grades were due.  We didn't have...um...most of the male leads.  Every night another crisis/resolution scenario played out over FB messenger.  Friendships were tested.  Acquaintances showed their lack of friendship.
For 10 weeks.

The Manfriend suffered a knee injury on top of his hurt shoulder.  We didn't kayak or bike at all.

Right up until that show opened, I lost sleep.  I never got anything done in my house.  It's a wonder my garden survived.  Honestly, choreographing that show was a full-time job.  Because I wasn't just a choreographer.  I was part of a team.  And nearly everyone on that team did more than their fair share to keep the train on the rails.  NEARLY everyone.
The show opened in spite of itself.  It was, honestly, the best show I have ever worked on.  Mary flew, Burt walked on the ceiling, people danced, and we sang the hell out of that shit.  It was wondrous.

I had a week off to prepare for War.

I went.  It was...fine.  Hectic.  High-maintenance friends who are worth it got into not-worth-my-time drama with those who aren't.  Fuck people who make vacation hard.  It was an especially sweaty year in more ways than one.

Spent some Quality time with the brotherly unit and the nephlets.

Came back and it was time to start school.

FUCK.  Where did my summer go?  Where is my semi-retirement?  Why did I only get...what...2 weeks tops of relaxation???

Oh, by the way, here's that duets show in the bandshell in the park.  Let's just toss that together and not make it suck.  While I'm starting a semester with a 25% overload.

Whew.  That went well.  Or...okay...as well as can be expected.  I hit a shit note during one of the shows because my voice was so tired.  Because...did I mention that overload?

So a few weeks go by, and my load is starting to feel manageable.  Because I've done this before.

And then there's that thing where a student's father sends implicit threats to me and the president of the university.  And the Provost.

Over a quiz.

A 10-point quiz.

I'd love to quote the details, but...um...they wouldn't help this make more sense.  It was actually more batshit crazy than it sounds.  And I'm keeping my mouth shut just in case it ever requires legal action.  And I reported it to DPS, and have never felt less safe walking to my car after dark.  And I have walked through some pretty shady areas of Toronto at some pretty shady times.  And taken the Night Bus.  And still felt more wobbly rounding that dark corner between my office and the parking lot.



So that was fucked up.

Meanwhile, the Manfriend has had rotator cuff surgery.  And that shit hurts.  And did I mention his parents are not dealing well with the onset of their dementia?  And his knee is also still pretty fucked up?


And then, hey!  The holidays! THANKSGIVING!  WHEE!  EVERYBODY LOVES EVERYONE!  SO MUCH FUN!  I AM TOTALLY OKAY WITH EVERYTHING!

Cue massive sinus infection.  I go to the walk-in clinic for antibiotics and my blood pressure is curiously high.  I can't say with honesty that I am surprised.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

After therapeutic family/nephlet time...I'm back at it.  It's a new semester, and a new show.  And most of my best friends are involved!  Yay!

And then...tragedy strikes our community.  A murder/suicide.  I met the victim briefly (at auditions for the show I'm doing), but have heard about her for years.  Both she and her killer (her longtime boyfriend) were good friends with many of my good friends, including the Manfriend.  There is nothing anyone can say.  It is just pure, unadulterated, sadness.



And then I sit up all night trying to talk sense into our dipshit lead who is pitching a diva hissyfit.  And then wake up to someone else telling me I am not treating them the way I used to and fuck that I am cancelling my office hours and sleeping in.

And then that show actually manages to happen, we strike that show, and are auditioning the next one.

And...well...see previous post.


I'll wait.




I lost friendships.  I wake up every morning with the songs from that show running through my head.  I cry literally every day for two months when I think about what happened.  I am angry.  I am sad.  I am alone.

I auditioned for a new theater.  This felt good.  I felt valued.  I felt like I fit.  I did not get cast, but at least for once I felt like it wasn't due to stupid fucking politics.

The weekend the show goes up, I am in Chicago with my advisee.  I get to spend some quality time with an old friend.  We have the most intellectually inspiring meeting I've had since I moved to Michigan.

And then my best friend from college goes into the hospital.  She is diagnosed with heart failure.  She isn't even forty yet.  You "God has a plan" people have a gigantic burden of proof ahead of you when it comes to viruses.  They serve no real purpose as far as I am concerned, unless it's in creating GMOs, in which case, God...you really need to have a chat with your people.  Bacteriophages are the only viruses I know to be useful for anything except protecting you from more evolved versions of that virus.  The ones that eat my best friend's heart can kindly go fuck themselves.

Oh, someone wrote the Dean anonymously to complain about "policies" that are not actually mine?  Ask me how much I care about their little academic telephone game.  Despite my lack of shits to give...I will still lose sleep.  Because this little shit could actually affect my job.

Finals week came.  I had some pretty good highs as I got some students to actually think like scientists.  And some pretty low lows as I saw good kids tank under pressure or just give up.

So before you give me shit about my 3.5 months of semi-retirement...know that my heart HURTS.  It has been though a LOT this year.  My brain is SPENT.  It is all out of fresh ideas.  I want to spend this summer thinking about nothing more than my family, the Manfriend, my garden, puppies, and good food.  And I NEED that.  I never got that last year, and I have felt the effects.