The VGLM

On a Monday morning, during my second week at work, a man walked past my desk. A Very Good-Looking Man. I noticed. It took a couple more passes throughout the day before it occurred to me that the Very Good-Looking Man smiled at me whenever we made eye contact. Now, I'm not the kind of girl that is used to this kind of behavior. I have to make a conscious effort to smile at a guy that I think is cute - I tend to assume that they look right through me. Because, to be honest, I find they usually do. Now, don't get me wrong - I know I'm fabulous, and my fabulosity is of a very great depth, but it takes time for people to see it. You definitely have to spend some time with me to love me, and I find that I become more attractive in direct proportion to the amount of time someone has spent getting to know me. So, while I do occasionally get looks from guys on the street, I'm not used to smiles from strangers. Smiles throw me a little off-kilter, especially when coming from what I consider to be a Very Good-Looking Man.

So I decided I'd like to find a way to meet this VGLM, to see if maybe there was a reason for the smile. But when you've just moved to a new city, and just started a new job, you're meeting people left and right and it's hard to find a way to meet someone in a way that's going to lead to real interaction, instead of rapid-fire introductions after which names are promptly forgotten. But lo and behold, it wasn't long before I found a way - it's amazing how many odd little social events crop up around here. (There's a LOT more to do at the U of T than there ever was at Purdue OR UVa for us socially-inept science geek types.) And in a lot of ways, there's nothing more heartbreaking than finding out that the person you've been admiring actually vastly exceeds your expectations. I'm not going to go into great detail about all of the things we have in common, all of the details about him that are truly remarkable, or the genuine knack he has for making you feel like you are the only person in the room. Just suffice it to say that he instantly became one of the biggest crushes I've ever had, and I actually thought I had become crush-proof at this point in my life.

But here's the problem: I have a pretty good guy-dar, and he's just not that into me. He is incredibly nice, and friendly, and DAMN he has a way of smiling at me that just melts me, but I'm hardly the first person to notice these traits in him and I'm sure I won't be the last. I can feel the energy shift that happens when there's another girl around who is younger, prettier, thinner, etc. than I am. I'm just not the sort of person he's drawn to. And I'm too old to try to force that shit. So he can go right on looking through me. And I'll go right on being a sucker for that smile. And that's fine.

But seriously...VGLM...call me.