Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Apropos of Nothing

So...I haven't written in a while, due to a combination of being out of town on weekends/not noticing anything amusing enough to warrant its own post/having to actually write something for work.  But I have had a few thoughts lately that I might as well share:

 

1.  I'm apparently sassy today.  Probably the cumulative effect of the heat, the bus air conditioner dripping on me all the way to the subway, my innards keeping me up late last night, and the mildly psychotic woman in front of me in the only open line at the grocery store this morning.  I apologize to anyone who is not appreciating my sass, but personally, I am finding it fairly amusing, even if my innards aren't.

 

2.  You know what blows my mind?  Sod.  Yesterday, I left for work, and the front yard of the house next door was nothing but raked dirt.  When I came home...BAM!  Instant lawny goodness!  I grew up with parents whose lawn care regimen only extended to mowing and trimming - our grass was always patchy, weedy, prickly, and laden with above-ground tree roots from the maple and sycamore in the back yard.  Made for some seriously uncomfortable picnics (and some choice swear words when one of the ropes supporting Dad's hammock would inevitably snap), but we were okay with that.  Therefore, the idea of ANY lush, green, soft lawn, let alone one that WASN'T THERE 8 HOURS AGO just boggles my little brain.

 

3.  I am SO not cut out for this online dating thing.  I mean, you're supposed to talk to lots of people, and give them all a fair shot, and keep your options open.  I am too much of a one-man girl for that.  I start talking to someone, and I want to see where that goes before talking to someone else.  And if I'm excited about talking to one person, it's very hard for me to give someone else that started talking to me two days later a fair shake.  And it's not their fault - nowhere in my profile does it say that the quality I'm most looking for in a man is proximity.  I'm kind of a crush whore, but at any given time, I focus the majority of my crush attentions to one person.  If I have too many crushes at the same time, I can't focus on one person and end up dating no one.  I've also slowly come to the realization that, as I've gotten older and more picky...SO HAVE THE GUYS.  Who knew???  This has made me constantly paranoid that confessing my phone phobia or not having the proper platform regarding raisins will get me dropped like a hot potato.  THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR MY PSYCHE.  OR MY INNARDS.

 

4.  <RASPBERRY>

 

5.  Oh, there is one person I've actually progressed to phone contact with.  We'll call him G, because that's actually his name.  No, seriously, that's what people call him.  Of course, when he told me this, my immediate response was, "Ever since I was a lower-case g.  But now I'm a Big G, the girls see I got the money.  Hundred dollar bills, ya'll...."  He didn't close me after the old-school hip-hop reference, so he gets mad props.  Only time will tell whether he is lower-case or capital...especially since I probably won't actually see him face-to-face until late next week.  (He actually said, "I'd ask if you wanted to get together, but...I have a beard."  He's growing the beard as part of a running joke for a wedding he's going to this weekend - I have to admire that sort of dedication to comedy that only a handful of people will actually get.  It sounds like something I would do if I were capable of growing facial hair.)  So...we'll see.  I've also gotten as far as open communication with another guy from Oshawa (which is about a half an hour away from my house, and in the wrong direction) that seems odd and fun...but I'm not sure how well I can juggle commuting to both work AND my social life.  Chances are, that one won't go anywhere, but who knows...maybe he'll find me charming enough that even high gas prices won't keep him from me.  I've had stalkers travel farther than that before.

 

6.  By the way, here's one of the reasons I haven't been posting much lately:
 sunset 2

That's where I was over the Canada Day weekend.  My new digital camera has a stitch assist feature, so I was playing with it to do a panoramic shot on a particularly pretty evening in northern Wisconsin.  The stitch is pretty lousy, but hell, I was on a wobbly dock, with no tripod, and the software was free.  You'll never see me turning into one of those Photoshop geeks - I would just always opt for being out taking pictures over sitting at a computer, manipulating them to make them perfect.  I am totally in love with my new camera, though, and since it doesn't eat batteries in two shots like my old digital P&S did, you can expect to see a lot more illustrated posts.  I think we can all agree that that's martha.  And in case you're wondering, that's my cousin's wife and yes, she's making that face intentionally.

 

7.  If you can't trust Mr. Noodles, who can you trust?  I opened up a package of ramen noodles last night, and NO SEASONING PACKET.  Good thing I had bought a case, and thus had a backup plan.  But now I have a block of raw, unflavored noodles that I can't do a thing with...that's like $0.20 down the drain!  Am now suspecting Mr. Noodles of skimming bouillon off the top....brown-collar crime, perhaps?

5 comments:

emily said...

okay, from your IM status message, I really thought you were referring to Mr. Noodle from Sesame Street, and that made me sad, because how can you NOT trust Mr. Noodle?! Damn and blast the noodle company for sullying that good man's name!

And after having dated a beard for over a year now, I approve. Especially because it's for a running joke.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't really get the 'date a whole bunch of people' thing either. You think about, like, the golden age of 'dating', what with the Cadillacs and the drive-in hamburger joints and the hula-hoops or whatever the fuck, and yet for all Archie ever said about 'tonight is my big date night!' how many broads was he really even into? Veronica, basically.

Betty only when Veronica was pissed off.

My point is that I don't think there have ever been people who really date lots of people except for skanky, slutty people, and they probably burn through relationships pretty quickly.

Yeah, I don't think there have ever been people who are like "Oh yeah, I've been dating the same seven people for the past two years."

There just aren't human scenarios for that.

Wahooty said...

If there's one thing this blog didn't have enough of, it was Archie Comics references. Thank you Will. (You will henceforth be known as Will #2, since the other Will got here first. Hopefully, another Will will happen along someday, so that I can make tired jokes about how there is no Will #4.)

There is something to be said, however, for dating a few people casually before you decide which one gets the promotion to Relationship Dude. This is the part of dating I have never been good at, which is why I have a tendency to just end up dating someone I was already friends with, eliminating all of that tedious getting-to-know-you-ness of the early dating stages.

So...yeah. Monogamist nature + unabashed laziness = my perpetual singlehood.

Anonymous said...

Oshawa?! Does he live there on purpose, or is it work related? I'll leave all further comments regarding his choice of home aside until further information presents itself.
Guys get just as picky as women as they get older. Did you think I'm anal, precise and a pain in the ass because of my genetic make-up??!! It's because of my age, damn it!

Wahooty said...

He works there as well, but as near as I can tell, he used to live there and commute downtown for work, so I believe he lives there on purpose.

And Ian honey, don't try to blame your general PITA nature on genes OR age...that's just you, love. Your pure, unadulterated essence. I'd be willing to bet I still would have thought you were a pain in the ass if I'd met you 15 years ago. ;)